MY NEW YEAR’S EXPERIENCE – 5

Night/Early Morning New Year’s Day

Restlessness – Thrashing – Groans – Delirium – Fighting … words I use in an attempt to express the unrelenting experience of a night of hell.

Lying in a bed of unrest and pain, my mind would not be still. The restlessness of my mind matched the discomfort of my body. My mind raced frantically to other scenes and other places and similar experiences trying to make sense and identify why or how I came to this present experience. To say the least, it was difficult to concentrate, but glimpses of the past did come, like random pop-ups on a movie screen, staying for view only momentarily.

I saw myself, a young boy of nine delirious with fever, rise from the bed and look down on his body, and continue upward through the roof and rise so high that he saw the earth below and higher flight passing close to the bright moon. There was no pain; only peace and comfort. I saw this child wake the next morning refreshed and well, succored by his mother.

Then I saw myself, a young religious zealot, fasting for 22 days with no ill affects, without pains, waking one evening feeling the oppressive power of some evil entity smothering life out of his thin body. Struggling to speak, he finally screamed with authority and using the beautiful name of Jesus commanded the entity to depart, and it did.

Thirdly, I saw a middle-aged man lying on a bed in the emergency room of a hospital, his wife already dead as the result of an auto accident, and he, lying in pain awaiting the care of physicians. Strangely, peace enveloped him.

And fourthly, I saw an older man who one year ago, nearly worked himself to death. Yet he did not struggle; and though in pain, he felt at peace. He did not desire to transition, but he did not fight what was to be.

These scenes from the past did not appear complete and in exact order as a photographic slide show. Thrashing about in a sleepless state, the memories returned in bits and pieces like a puzzle.

Groans and travails accompanied my continuing restlessness. Sleep did not come. Never once did I recall a state or feeling of fear gripping me. Instead, I felt determination not to slip away and transition to a happier and more peaceful place. The fact is, I was not willing to leave my wife and family. I had too much to do to leave them now.

The throbbing in my head did not cease, and the tooth screamed to be pulled from my mouth. My arms and legs ached; no position brought comfort. I cried to ministering angels to come and help … And I called out to a healer-friend to come to my assistance. And as best I could, I prayed to our Heavenly Father. Minutes turned to hours. No relief; no calmness; no peace – but only the presence of seemingly endless waves of agony.

Help Comes in the Morning

The appearance of the first light of dawn did not see me bounce from the bed, healed and whole.

Daylight brought blessed sleep ….

And later, several hours later, wakefulness came. I woke to sunlight streaming through the bedroom window.

The throbbing in my head had disappeared and the intense tooth ache was gone, leaving behind weaknness -- a faint shadow of the night of horrendous pain and agony.

____________________

To be continued